Sorry for the absence!

As the title says, I'm sorry for the absence, and lack of updates on Sidekick :(
Basically, I'm in my third trimester now, and getting really tired all the time.

That and the move, setting things up (living room, kitchen, and bathroom are done - not much else), and the holidays, have just wiped me out.  In general, things are going well and Sidekick is cutting a lot of teeth, still growing like a weed (though thinning out since he's walking all over the place now), and mostly sleeping through the night - unless the teething is bothering him. 

Other than that, HeroPapa is on some new medication to help him with working third shift (the night shift), and it seems to be doing the trick!  He now has enough energy, because he's sleeping better during the day, to help around the house, and have some quality family as well, which has been such a blessing :)

As for me and Baby Boy #2, I'm trying to remind myself, that just because I can't get on the floor as much anymore with Sidekick to play, that that's okay.  I have to make time for this new baby too, and allow myself the rest I need (even if it's just sitting in a rocking chair), in order to be the best vessel I can be for this baby.  Our due date is still April 6th, and he's growing right on track.  Luckily, I'm gaining at a much slower pace than with Sidekick (though with him, I had edema, so almost half my weight gain was painful water weight swelling). 

So other than that, we are settling into our new apartment, which is amazing, and I can't wait to give a tour <3  I haven't forgotten about the blog, nor the fact, that our relatives need some amazing pictures of Sidekick soon, before they suffer from withdrawal ;)

I'll be back soonish, my goal being a big update on the 6th of Feb. at the latest ~ see you all then!

Due Today =D

So according to my first clinic I'm due today, and according to my second clinic I'm due tomorrow - but hey, I spent the first seven months focusing on the 29th of October, so why stop now?  Besides, one day isn't a big deal, and though I know only like 5% of women give birth on their due date, I still can't help but look at this day with awe.  

Just last night, I finally finished writing up our AngelBaby's story (over a year after it had all happened!).  I think our little Sidekick was trying hard to reassure me that everything would end okay, because he gave lots of kicks as I was typing.  But it felt good to finally write it all out, and today, I'm just excited to countdown the days, because yes, we have a countdown!

My OB doesn't want me to get past 41 weeks, which is on my birthday! (November 5th), and that means he will be here (with God's help) within a week no matter what.  I have an appointment on Friday, and if he's not here by then, I'm getting induced on no later than Monday (what a great possible birthday present, right?!).

So let's begin . . . Day Seven and counting down :D

October 15th - National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

*copied from my tumblr page to share*

Oh it’s been a while since I’ve been online!  Pregnancy is exhausting in its final month (I’m due in two weeks ~ ), but nothing makes you appreciate it more (at least for me), then remembering my Angel Baby. 

I lost my baby at nine (or eleven weeks - depending on which ultrasound you fallow), but our baby never grew past six weeks, and four days.  With all the odds my family has climbed past in my lifetime alone, I really remained optimistic that this was it: that getting to have a baby as soon as we began trying for one, was the “reward” if you will, for all the things that had happened before.  But the odds haven’t always been on our side, and sadly my first pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage that resulted in a midnight run to the ER, an emergency D&C, and a stay at the hospital as my body recovered (which reminds me, I still need to write that second part out of our Angel Baby story).

Now, as I rub my big Buddhabelly, awaiting the arrival of my first born son, I remember my Angel Baby even now - and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move on.  I can move forward, but not "on".  A small part of me, will always watch our little Sidekick play and think that he’ll never get to have that older sibling experience. 

But I take comfort in knowing that I will get to know the soul that brought me so much joy for weeks, one day, in Heaven - and then watch (much later hopefully), my son getting to meet his sibling, and finally play with him then.

For all the parents who lost their children, whether in utero or shortly thereafter, I lift a prayer for all of us, that we may heal and find comfort as we grieve, and move forward.

He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” Mark 5:34 (NIV)